Life brings moments when things go wrong—and when someone shares bad news, the words “that sucks” often come out without much thought. But sometimes, this phrase can feel blunt, impersonal, or even dismissive, especially when someone is going through something serious or emotional. Choosing more thoughtful, empathetic alternatives helps you connect more deeply and offer real support.
In this guide, we’ll explore 30 kinder, more meaningful ways to say “that sucks” so you can respond with care, warmth, and sincerity—whether you’re comforting a friend, texting a coworker, or just trying to be more emotionally aware in your everyday conversations.
What Does “That Sucks” Mean?
“That sucks” is an informal way to express sympathy, frustration, or disappointment in response to unfortunate news or circumstances. While it can be a quick way to show empathy, it often lacks the emotional depth or tone needed in sensitive situations.
When to Use “That Sucks”
You might say “that sucks” when:
- A friend shares something disappointing or unfair
- Someone tells you about a missed opportunity
- You want to show support casually without going deep
But because it’s casual and sometimes dismissive, it’s not always the best fit—especially when someone needs comfort or connection.
Is It Professional/Polite to Say “That Sucks”?
In professional settings, “that sucks” is generally not considered appropriate. It can sound too informal, insensitive, or even unprofessional, depending on your workplace culture. If you’re talking to a boss, client, or coworker, it’s better to choose a polite and thoughtful alternative that shows empathy and respect.
Pros or Cons of Saying “That Sucks”
Pros:
- Quick and easy to say
- Expresses instant sympathy or solidarity
- Common and familiar in casual settings
Cons:
- Can sound careless or lazy
- Not suitable for sensitive or serious situations
- May seem dismissive or lacking in empathy
- Unprofessional in formal environments
Synonyms For “That Sucks”
- That’s really unfortunate
- I’m so sorry you’re dealing with that
- That must be really tough
- I hate that you’re going through this
- That sounds incredibly frustrating
- That’s really upsetting
- I wish things were different for you
- That’s not fair at all
- That must be so hard
- That’s heartbreaking
- That’s incredibly disappointing
- That doesn’t sound easy
- I totally get why you’re upset
- That’s a rough spot to be in
- That’s deeply unfair
- That must feel awful
- That sounds exhausting
- That’s got to be painful
- I can’t imagine how hard that is
- That’s really discouraging
- That’s such a tough break
- I’m here for you
- That’s beyond frustrating
- That’s really disheartening
- I’m really sorry to hear that
- That sounds rough
- That’s just awful
- That’s so disappointing
- That’s a lot to handle
- You really didn’t deserve that
1. That’s really unfortunate
Definition: A sympathetic phrase expressing regret over someone’s difficult situation.
Explanation: This softens the message and shows concern without sounding too casual or dismissive.
Scenario Example:
“Your flight got cancelled after waiting for hours? That’s really unfortunate.”
Tone: Calm, respectful, and empathetic.
Worst Use: In extremely emotional or tragic contexts—may sound too mild.
2. I’m so sorry you’re dealing with that
Definition: A heartfelt expression of support and compassion.
Explanation: It acknowledges the person’s struggle and shows emotional presence.
Scenario Example:
“I’m so sorry you’re dealing with that. Let me know how I can help.”
Tone: Warm, caring, deeply empathetic.
Worst Use: In very casual conversations—it may come off as overly emotional for light issues.
3. That must be really tough
Definition: A validating phrase acknowledging how difficult the experience likely is.
Explanation: It emphasizes empathy and understanding without overstepping.
Scenario Example:
“Losing your job unexpectedly—that must be really tough.”
Tone: Supportive and sincere.
Worst Use: If used sarcastically, it loses all its care.
4. I hate that you’re going through this
Definition: A direct, emotional statement showing strong empathy.
Explanation: It communicates personal care and frustration on the person’s behalf.
Scenario Example:
“I hate that you’re going through this. You don’t deserve it.”
Tone: Emotional, honest, and supportive.
Worst Use: In professional emails or messages—it may be too emotional.
5. That sounds incredibly frustrating
Definition: A phrase that empathizes with someone’s feeling of irritation or helplessness.
Explanation: This response shows that you understand their emotional reaction.
Scenario Example:
“So they lost your paperwork again? That sounds incredibly frustrating.”
Tone: Calm, validating.
Worst Use: When the issue is more tragic than frustrating—it might miss the mark.
6. That’s really upsetting
Definition: A gentle way to mirror someone’s emotional pain.
Explanation: This alternative acknowledges that the situation has emotional weight.
Scenario Example:
“You’ve been trying so hard, and they still ignored your work? That’s really upsetting.”
Tone: Sympathetic and affirming.
Worst Use: In lighthearted or minor issues—it may feel overly dramatic.
7. I wish things were different for you
Definition: An honest, caring statement expressing a desire for better circumstances.
Explanation: It shows deep empathy and regret that things are out of your control.
Scenario Example:
“You’ve been through so much. I really wish things were different for you.”
Tone: Compassionate and sincere.
Worst Use: When the person is looking for action, not just sympathy.
8. That’s not fair at all
Definition: A validating way to show support and share frustration.
Explanation: This is useful when someone has experienced injustice or unfair treatment.
Scenario Example:
“They passed you over again even though you’re more qualified? That’s not fair at all.”
Tone: Assertive, loyal, empathetic.
Worst Use: When you don’t know all the facts—it might escalate tensions.
9. That must be so hard
Definition: A gentle statement that acknowledges difficulty.
Explanation: Offers empathy and allows the other person to feel seen.
Scenario Example:
“Balancing work and caring for your dad? That must be so hard.”
Tone: Caring, warm.
Worst Use: If overused, it might sound repetitive or generic.
10. That’s heartbreaking
Definition: A strong emotional expression for painful or sad news.
Explanation: Use this when someone is grieving, suffering, or truly hurt.
Scenario Example:
“Your pet passed away? That’s absolutely heartbreaking.”
Tone: Deeply emotional, sympathetic.
Worst Use: In trivial circumstances—it can feel like an overreaction.
11. That’s incredibly disappointing
Definition: A phrase that acknowledges a letdown with strong empathy.
Explanation: It shows you understand the emotional impact of missed hopes or failed expectations.
Scenario Example:
“You prepared for weeks and they canceled last minute? That’s incredibly disappointing.”
Tone: Sympathetic, serious.
Worst Use: In lighthearted situations—it may sound too heavy for minor issues.
12. That doesn’t sound easy
Definition: A validating way to acknowledge a difficult situation without assuming too much.
Explanation: This phrase expresses understanding while allowing space for the other person to open up more.
Scenario Example:
“Managing two jobs while studying? That doesn’t sound easy at all.”
Tone: Respectful, thoughtful.
Worst Use: If said dismissively—it might come across as passive or insincere.
13. I totally get why you’re upset
Definition: A statement of emotional validation and understanding.
Explanation: It assures the person that their feelings are justified and seen.
Scenario Example:
“They ignored your input again? I totally get why you’re upset.”
Tone: Affirming, supportive.
Worst Use: If used with someone who doesn’t feel safe being emotionally vulnerable—it might pressure them to open up too much.
14. That’s a rough spot to be in
Definition: A casual yet compassionate way to acknowledge difficulty.
Explanation: It communicates empathy without being overly intense or dramatic.
Scenario Example:
“Stuck between two hard choices? That’s a rough spot to be in.”
Tone: Gentle, understanding.
Worst Use: For very serious or traumatic situations—it may sound too relaxed.
15. That’s deeply unfair
Definition: A strong statement showing support and acknowledgment of injustice.
Explanation: Use this when someone has experienced clearly unfair treatment.
Scenario Example:
“You were let go with no explanation? That’s deeply unfair.”
Tone: Supportive, loyal, validating.
Worst Use: If the situation is more complicated than it seems—it can escalate tensions or conflict.
16. That must feel awful
Definition: A direct expression of sympathy focused on how the person might be feeling.
Explanation: It acknowledges their pain and creates emotional connection.
Scenario Example:
“Being excluded like that—that must feel awful.”
Tone: Deeply empathetic and emotionally aware.
Worst Use: In professional situations—it may be too emotionally forward for the context.
17. That sounds exhausting
Definition: A phrase that validates emotional or physical fatigue.
Explanation: It shows understanding of someone’s ongoing challenges or overwhelm.
Scenario Example:
“Juggling your kids, work, and caregiving? That sounds exhausting.”
Tone: Honest, compassionate.
Worst Use: For one-time issues—it may seem exaggerated.
18. That’s got to be painful
Definition: An emotionally attuned phrase that recognizes deep hurt.
Explanation: This response connects with emotional or physical pain without sounding overly dramatic.
Scenario Example:
“Losing a friendship like that—that’s got to be painful.”
Tone: Sincere, emotionally in-tune.
Worst Use: In casual or non-serious contexts—it might sound too intense.
19. I can’t imagine how hard that is
Definition: A powerful way to show respect for someone’s experience without claiming to fully understand it.
Explanation: It allows space for the other person’s emotions while expressing real compassion.
Scenario Example:
“Dealing with all of this while staying strong—I can’t imagine how hard that is.”
Tone: Respectful, warm, and supportive.
Worst Use: If overused—it can come across as distant rather than empathetic.
20. That’s really discouraging
Definition: A phrase to acknowledge someone’s feeling of defeat or demotivation.
Explanation: It reflects emotional support, especially after setbacks or repeated failures.
Scenario Example:
“You’ve applied for five jobs and still no call back? That’s really discouraging.”
Tone: Encouraging yet empathetic.
Worst Use: For temporary or small annoyances—it might exaggerate the emotion.
21. That’s such a tough break
Definition: A colloquial way to express sympathy for bad luck or unfortunate timing.
Explanation: It’s slightly more casual but still conveys care and understanding.
Scenario Example:
“You were this close to qualifying? That’s such a tough break.”
Tone: Casual, supportive.
Worst Use: In serious or tragic circumstances—it sounds too light.
22. I’m here for you
Definition: A simple and powerful phrase of emotional support and presence.
Explanation: It doesn’t analyze or explain—it just offers companionship and care.
Scenario Example:
“I know it’s a hard time right now. I’m here for you.”
Tone: Steady, compassionate, reassuring.
Worst Use: If said without follow-through—it can feel hollow or performative.
23. That’s beyond frustrating
Definition: A more intense version of acknowledging someone’s irritation or struggle.
Explanation: This phrase helps you mirror the person’s emotional level without sounding dismissive.
Scenario Example:
“They’ve delayed your case again? That’s beyond frustrating.”
Tone: Strong, validating, emotionally attuned.
Worst Use: In trivial issues—it might sound like you’re inflating the problem.
24. That’s really disheartening
Definition: A term for expressing empathy when someone feels defeated or hopeless.
Explanation: It communicates emotional understanding when someone’s hope has been shaken.
Scenario Example:
“You’ve put in so much effort, and they’re still ignoring it? That’s really disheartening.”
Tone: Honest, sincere, and gentle.
Worst Use: With overly casual conversations—it may feel too serious.
25. I’m really sorry to hear that
Definition: A classic, polite, and professional way to acknowledge bad news.
Explanation: This phrase is widely acceptable across both casual and formal settings.
Scenario Example:
“You didn’t get the promotion? I’m really sorry to hear that.”
Tone: Respectful, calm, and warm.
Worst Use: When said mechanically or without sincerity—it can feel cold or obligatory.
26. That sounds rough
Definition: A casually compassionate phrase used to acknowledge a tough situation.
Explanation: It’s a gentle way to validate someone’s pain or difficulty without being overly emotional or dramatic.
Scenario Example:
“You’ve been going through so much lately… that sounds rough.”
Tone: Supportive, casual, down-to-earth.
Worst Use: In formal settings—it may come off as too relaxed or vague.
27. That’s just awful
Definition: A strong, emotionally charged reaction to something clearly upsetting or unfair.
Explanation: This phrase emphasizes that you recognize the seriousness or cruelty of a situation.
Scenario Example:
“They spread rumors behind your back? That’s just awful.”
Tone: Strongly empathetic, validating, protective.
Worst Use: For everyday inconveniences—it could be overly intense.
28. That’s so disappointing
Definition: A phrase used to express shared letdown or sadness about an unmet expectation.
Explanation: It gently mirrors the person’s own sense of disappointment without sounding judgmental.
Scenario Example:
“They said they’d show up and didn’t? That’s so disappointing.”
Tone: Calm, thoughtful, validating.
Worst Use: In situations where the other person is angry—it may feel too passive or mild.
29. That’s a lot to handle
Definition: A validating phrase that acknowledges someone’s emotional, mental, or physical overload.
Explanation: It gently expresses that you see the weight of what someone is dealing with and respect their strength.
Scenario Example:
“Between work, your health, and your family—that’s a lot to handle.”
Tone: Respectful, calm, grounded.
Worst Use: If used sarcastically or dismissively—it could feel minimizing instead of supportive.
30. You really didn’t deserve that
Definition: A deeply empathetic and supportive phrase used when someone experiences unfair treatment.
Explanation: This reassures the person that what happened isn’t a reflection of their worth or actions.
Scenario Example:
“They blamed you when you were the one helping? You really didn’t deserve that.”
Tone: Firm, protective, caring.
Worst Use: When the situation is more nuanced—it could sound like you’re taking sides prematurely.
Conclusion
Finding the right words in painful or disappointing moments can make a world of difference. Instead of simply saying “That sucks,” using any of these 30 thoughtful alternatives can help someone feel seen, validated, and supported. Whether you’re comforting a friend, colleague, or loved one, choosing the right tone—whether gentle, strong, calm, or deeply caring— shows emotional intelligence and builds stronger, more meaningful connections.
Each phrase above gives you a new tool to express empathy in a way that’s warm, professional when needed, and always sincere. Language matters—and the way we respond to someone’s pain can either deepen trust or distance it. So the next time someone shares something hard, you’ll be ready to respond with real care..
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
Q1: Is it okay to say “That sucks” in professional settings?
Answer: While “That sucks” is widely used in casual speech, it’s often seen as too informal or unprofessional, especially in workplace or client-facing conversations. Instead, try saying “That sounds challenging” or “That must be tough” to maintain professionalism and empathy.
Q2: Why should I use alternatives to “That sucks”?
Answer: Using thoughtful alternatives allows you to show deeper emotional intelligence and connect with people in a more meaningful and respectful way. Words like “That must feel awful” or “You didn’t deserve that” can communicate genuine care without sounding dismissive or generic.
Q3: Are these alternatives better for sensitive conversations?
Answer: Yes. Many alternatives are specifically designed to be emotionally safe and validating, especially when someone is sharing something painful, vulnerable, or frustrating. Saying the right thing in a supportive tone can make someone feel heard and valued.
Q4: Can I use these alternatives with friends and family?
Answer: Absolutely! These phrases are ideal for personal relationships where emotional connection matters. Whether you’re comforting a partner, sibling, or close friend, alternatives like “I’m here for you” or “That’s really disheartening” can express real empathy.
Q5: What if I don’t know what to say when someone tells me something upsetting?
Answer: When in doubt, choose a phrase that validates their feelings without trying to fix the problem. Something like “I totally get why you’re upset” or “That’s a lot to handle” offers support while keeping space open for them to share more if they wish.
Q6: Can using more empathetic language improve relationships?
Answer: Yes. Thoughtful language builds trust, emotional safety, and stronger bonds. By choosing phrases that express genuine care, you’re not just reacting—you’re nurturing a deeper connection with others.
Emma Brooke is the voice behind Grammarly Hub, where grammar meets clarity. With a deep passion for the written word, Emma helps readers navigate the tricky waters of English grammar, writing tips, and effective communication.
